KONKONSA IS BACK AND DEEPER.
It is always a pleasure and happy moments when I see handsome and elegant young ones troop to my kingdom in search of knowledge. Do you know why I become happy? It is because I will get my voluminous mouth busy with both clean and dirty gossip. As I mark my last moments on the throne as the overlord of the Kingdom of NUST, I vow to make use of my professorial laurels in konkonsa as never before. For those of you who are new to me and my underground dealings, let me introduce myself. Is it even worth it to do that? Anyway, I am NANA ANOKESE ANOPEASEM, overload of the land that you trample on, watcher of your dark deeds and backlasher of your irresponsible acts. Above all, I am the father of all gossip, an expert in lips flapping gossip. Just have a second look at my name and you would know me better.
I take this opportunity to welcome all freshmen and fresh women to the Kwame Nkrumah University of Serious Trouble. Hmmmmn! I don’t even know why I referred to you as fresh men and women. Some of you are dried up more than the back of Baba Fuseini (oldest crocodile at Paga). Anyway, I hope you enjoy your stay on this land of our death and reincarnation. As the royal custodian of the land, I have some few words of advice for you. I know some of you have thrown away the ones your parents forced into that thing you call your head. I hope you will not throw away what I will give you.
My lovely daughters in AFRICA HALL, it’s nice to be in the only female twin towers on campus, but please your porters are also thinking human beings. The shout of your predecessors have made them partially deaf. Please I beg you, do not worsen their plight by perpetuating the scream slogan “PORTER, PLEASE PUMP THE WATER”. They know that already.
Those of you in Queens hall or whatever you call it, please I beg you to be content with your lot. Stop trooping to other halls. I don’t want to remind people of those sad moments but let the two beautiful “gobe” sellers be enough for you. Tell your leaders that building more accommodation units is more important than using money to build a lawn tennis court where four and half people including some semi-mad white man will go and throw tennis balls. Royals, do not also forget that your television always gets spoilt as a result of attack from mad people. Tell your president to paste a notice banning mad people from using your TV room. Also do not forget to close all computers, all laptops and switch off all electrical appliances before doing what mum and dad do at night. There might be a camera hidden inside the microwave. Ask your forefathers to tell you the legendary Botuo fairy tale.
My lovely kids in the hall that claims to be independent, welcome to the premier hall. You are lucky because all the prayers emanating from Paa Joe seems to pass through your hall. However try and convince your leaders to go in for sponsorship from GHACEM instead of TIGO. Your buildings do not have enough cement in them. I do not want to shed my little royal tears again. I am reserving them for my death, so that I can cry for those who will come and shed hippopotamus tears there.
Oh my lovely REPUBLIC hall, how thou welcometh all my children. Mongols, human beings are supposed to learn from humans, not inanimate objects. Never copy the habit of those shameless sculptures in your hall. They have exposed their nudity for years now. Kindly shun their company. At least, put on something. For that reason, I have ordered that panties be included in the souvenirs that will be provided to you. At least your leaders heeded my caution and have stopped cultivating the REFUSE DUMP farm. It was a joint project they had with THE DOMITES. Please those executives who keep entering the female rooms almost every micro-second, the ladies are complaining of nightmares. Please I don’t want to go far, so stop work with immediate effect. Even chicken is being spared nowadays during Christmas.
Continentals, you are lucky to be in the largest hall in the whole of West Africa. I don’t even know if that is true. Anyway, take very good care of yourself and be united as the name of your hall says. I don’t even know why the hall was named after the continental unity of Africa. The continent itself has never been united. Hope it is not already having its effect on you. However, you must form search parties to go and look for your missing goddess. Wonders will never end. I thought those things happen only in Nigerian movies, where people steal a whole god and it doesn’t even resist. Now I know it can truly happen on the land of Thrillers and Surprises.
To those of you in the black and yellow hall, I don’t even know why you love black so much, is it because of evil or you are just proud of your colour? I paid a royal visit to your bathhouses and I thought I was dreaming. It’s really nice. I hope it will not turn out to be the story of APONKYE and CAKE. Eeeih, what will you celebrate this year after that controversial HALL FESTIVAL. Is it not so strange? When everyone is celebrating hall week, only you want to celebrate what? FESTIVAL? Please the SOS was too terrifying last year. I beg you with my royal sandals to stop. You are lucky enough to have lots of bush around you, can’t you transfer some there? Greet your president for me. Eeih as for that man and his English, hmmmn!! Did he school in Afghanistan?
Once again I welcome all of you to my kingdom. Though I was born at a time when we stroke stones against each other to get light, I am very much IT inclined more than most of you. I will prove that to you very soon. I leave you with one of my father’s popular sayings “In a zongo community, no one wins a fight once”. Think about this and apply it to your life on campus.
YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS
NANA PROF. ANOKESE ANOPEASEM
PhD GOSSIPIOLOGY
MSc ROYAL DISSING.
You can read THE GOSSIP online through the following medium –
www.konkonsa-thegossip.blogspot.com.
Join me on the facebook fan page - THE GOSSIP.
You can also email me through courageislove@gamil.com.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Monday, September 28, 2009
LOVE FOR CASSOCK
LOVE FOR CASSOCK.
A tall young gentleman swung off the bus terminal and walked hurriedly up the first dusty street. He was an extremely handsome catholic priest. He had strong, well chiseled features, curled hair and fine and attractive eyes. He walked with assurance as if this was something he had planned years ahead. As he had driven himself into sacred duty, he planned to do this before leaving for missionary work. He cast a cursory look up the street, and gosh! She was coming towards his direction. She still seemed to be like the angel she had been to him. The same light movement as if her feet had wings. The same fat cheek and the same grace of movement. She had a protruding belly. His heartbeat quickened as she got closer. The hug was that old soothing one with both hands rubbing his back. She had forgotten that he was in cassock. The look in her ever sexy eyes seemed so genuine that his initial plans for distant courtesy vanished. For a moment, he could only gaze at her glowing beauty and admire how beautifully she has grown, as she spoke, “I’ve missed you. Where have you been?” Conrad saw this as very sarcastic but gathered enough courage and answered, “In the seminary”. Suddenly he was himself again. “Aboagyewaa, I came to finish what we started some years back on KNUST campus”. Memories of yesteryears out of the blue flashed across Aboagyewaa’s mind and she felt like passing out. Conrad Villars and Aboagyewaa Marfo were course mates in school. Their first day in class, she gave him a smile, he returned it and that was how one of the most captivating love stories on campus began. Had Shakespeare been alive during this age, he would rethink writing another love story about this thin, fair gentleman and that dark, fat damsel, far enhanced than the legendry Romeo and Juliet. Like the pulling down of the twin towers, Conrad realized it too late that h wouldn’t be able to marry the nicest woman ever in his life. Ohyiren Kankam, a school mate of Conrad, came from nowhere promising Aboagyewaa more than Disney world. By the time Conrad realized that it was not a dream, Ohyiren was gone with his love. He then resolved that, if he has lost her, then he will turn to the seminary for solace. He knew his mother will never forgive him or such a decision, but he will not be able to love any other woman. He left campus in the middle of his second year. Every attempt by Aboagyewaa to get in touch landed on hard rocks. Exactly two years after that, she got married to Ohyiren and is now pregnant. She came out of her trance of a sort. He continued, “I am departing for my station in Uganda. But when I looked the fact in the face, I might not be coming back. I found that there was one person I wanted to bid goodbye. There was one person I wanted I wanted to see for the last time and that is the only lady I ever and will forever love and that is you”. Tears started trickling down her face. The only man she truly love, now a catholic priest had the impertinence to come and rekindle old love flames. She broke into uncontrollable sobbing and started striking his chest, “why did you do that to me? You never proposed to me all those years. I thought that we would come together one day and here you are in cassock and here I am pregnant for another man. I thought you didn’t love me after all. I thought I loved the wrong person , but I still had hope that one day…..” the sobbing seem to choke her very words. Conrad couldn’t hold back the tears as they reluctantly filtered down his cheeks. He was heart-broken himself. He didn’t get the courage to propose to his only sweetheart. He didn’t know the attraction could get stronger after all these years. All his life, Conrad has been self righteous and promised not to hurt anyone. But now, Aboagyewaa is hurt. His mother is also hurt. Above all, he is also hurt because he was human enough to love a woman but not man enough to propose and fight for his treasure. Separation has made their love keener, time has consolidated it. Maybe it wasn’t his for the keeping. Maybe the seminary was his place of service. But now, he can only love his priesthood and not his charming fairy. The End.
Written by: COURAGE AHIATI
A tall young gentleman swung off the bus terminal and walked hurriedly up the first dusty street. He was an extremely handsome catholic priest. He had strong, well chiseled features, curled hair and fine and attractive eyes. He walked with assurance as if this was something he had planned years ahead. As he had driven himself into sacred duty, he planned to do this before leaving for missionary work. He cast a cursory look up the street, and gosh! She was coming towards his direction. She still seemed to be like the angel she had been to him. The same light movement as if her feet had wings. The same fat cheek and the same grace of movement. She had a protruding belly. His heartbeat quickened as she got closer. The hug was that old soothing one with both hands rubbing his back. She had forgotten that he was in cassock. The look in her ever sexy eyes seemed so genuine that his initial plans for distant courtesy vanished. For a moment, he could only gaze at her glowing beauty and admire how beautifully she has grown, as she spoke, “I’ve missed you. Where have you been?” Conrad saw this as very sarcastic but gathered enough courage and answered, “In the seminary”. Suddenly he was himself again. “Aboagyewaa, I came to finish what we started some years back on KNUST campus”. Memories of yesteryears out of the blue flashed across Aboagyewaa’s mind and she felt like passing out. Conrad Villars and Aboagyewaa Marfo were course mates in school. Their first day in class, she gave him a smile, he returned it and that was how one of the most captivating love stories on campus began. Had Shakespeare been alive during this age, he would rethink writing another love story about this thin, fair gentleman and that dark, fat damsel, far enhanced than the legendry Romeo and Juliet. Like the pulling down of the twin towers, Conrad realized it too late that h wouldn’t be able to marry the nicest woman ever in his life. Ohyiren Kankam, a school mate of Conrad, came from nowhere promising Aboagyewaa more than Disney world. By the time Conrad realized that it was not a dream, Ohyiren was gone with his love. He then resolved that, if he has lost her, then he will turn to the seminary for solace. He knew his mother will never forgive him or such a decision, but he will not be able to love any other woman. He left campus in the middle of his second year. Every attempt by Aboagyewaa to get in touch landed on hard rocks. Exactly two years after that, she got married to Ohyiren and is now pregnant. She came out of her trance of a sort. He continued, “I am departing for my station in Uganda. But when I looked the fact in the face, I might not be coming back. I found that there was one person I wanted to bid goodbye. There was one person I wanted I wanted to see for the last time and that is the only lady I ever and will forever love and that is you”. Tears started trickling down her face. The only man she truly love, now a catholic priest had the impertinence to come and rekindle old love flames. She broke into uncontrollable sobbing and started striking his chest, “why did you do that to me? You never proposed to me all those years. I thought that we would come together one day and here you are in cassock and here I am pregnant for another man. I thought you didn’t love me after all. I thought I loved the wrong person , but I still had hope that one day…..” the sobbing seem to choke her very words. Conrad couldn’t hold back the tears as they reluctantly filtered down his cheeks. He was heart-broken himself. He didn’t get the courage to propose to his only sweetheart. He didn’t know the attraction could get stronger after all these years. All his life, Conrad has been self righteous and promised not to hurt anyone. But now, Aboagyewaa is hurt. His mother is also hurt. Above all, he is also hurt because he was human enough to love a woman but not man enough to propose and fight for his treasure. Separation has made their love keener, time has consolidated it. Maybe it wasn’t his for the keeping. Maybe the seminary was his place of service. But now, he can only love his priesthood and not his charming fairy. The End.
Written by: COURAGE AHIATI
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
I AM SCARED
I am scared.
I am scared of the world I live in. It has become a perilous world.
I am scare of the people I walk with. They have become venomous snakes.
I am scared of the friends I talk to. They have become gossips overnight.
I am scared of my religion. Intruders have taken over.
I am scared of my community. It has become contagious.
I am scared of my school. Bad influence rules.
I am scared of my country. We have lost focus and are aimless.
I am scared of my brother. He is full of envy.
I am scared of my sister. She is full of hatred.
I am scared of my leaders. They are extortionists.
I am scared of my girlfriend. She will break my heart tomorrow
I am scared of myself. I am scared to fail.
I am scared of my generation. We are all scary folks.
Written on 2nd July, 2009. By Courage Ahiati.
I am scared of the world I live in. It has become a perilous world.
I am scare of the people I walk with. They have become venomous snakes.
I am scared of the friends I talk to. They have become gossips overnight.
I am scared of my religion. Intruders have taken over.
I am scared of my community. It has become contagious.
I am scared of my school. Bad influence rules.
I am scared of my country. We have lost focus and are aimless.
I am scared of my brother. He is full of envy.
I am scared of my sister. She is full of hatred.
I am scared of my leaders. They are extortionists.
I am scared of my girlfriend. She will break my heart tomorrow
I am scared of myself. I am scared to fail.
I am scared of my generation. We are all scary folks.
Written on 2nd July, 2009. By Courage Ahiati.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
KATANGA IS THE GREATEST
REST NOT.
That is the short but ever powerful motto of the UNIVERSITY HALL (KATANGA). Katanga is the beacon of KNUST that shines every running second. This is a hall I love so much and will not exchange for anything. Had it not been for KATANGA, where would KNUST be? A hall of valiant men who rest not. Even the greatest coward ever was metamorphosed into a brave warrior.
Do you know why KATANGA is the greatest of all? Some people claim to be called SPARTANS and say they are always a step ahead. In actual facts, Katangese are the real Spartans. We are not just a step ahead but miles ahead of the other halls. They all look up to us for direction and protection. When people were denied their positions, was it not Katanga they came to for justice? Is KATANGA not the first hall to walk on asphalt?
Some call themselves, MONGOLS and claim to be pacesetters. KATANGA is the only pacesetter on KNUST campus. The first hall to have an anthem, the first hall in every competition from academic to social issues. The only mouthpiece of Ghanaian students.
Some call themselves royals. But my understanding is that, its only people who are in a kingdom with a present royal family who can call themselves royals. KATANGA happens to be the powerhouse of UST and for that matter, Katangese are the only true royals. Some paradoxically call themselves UNITY. Impudence of a dying housefly. They are more divided than anyone. The most united hall on campus with a common sense of purpose is indisputably KATANGA.
The black and yellow are two wonderful colours you can’t resist. When the bombardier resonates across the hall and shakes the very foundation of KNUST, the others panic, whiles the men respond to duty. That is the mark of a true fellow. Look at how they all beam with hope when they are in trouble and hear the voice of MEN of WAR chanting our home made war songs. Truly, the legend will never taste death
If you can’t beat us, capo, join us. We are the great fellows. To give the university an image when it was not recognized in Ghana, they had to name the hall UNIVERSITY HALL. For those of you who still doubt the strength of KATANGA, it is synonymous to you doubting the VENOM of a puff adder. THE LEGEND LIVES ON!
That is the short but ever powerful motto of the UNIVERSITY HALL (KATANGA). Katanga is the beacon of KNUST that shines every running second. This is a hall I love so much and will not exchange for anything. Had it not been for KATANGA, where would KNUST be? A hall of valiant men who rest not. Even the greatest coward ever was metamorphosed into a brave warrior.
Do you know why KATANGA is the greatest of all? Some people claim to be called SPARTANS and say they are always a step ahead. In actual facts, Katangese are the real Spartans. We are not just a step ahead but miles ahead of the other halls. They all look up to us for direction and protection. When people were denied their positions, was it not Katanga they came to for justice? Is KATANGA not the first hall to walk on asphalt?
Some call themselves, MONGOLS and claim to be pacesetters. KATANGA is the only pacesetter on KNUST campus. The first hall to have an anthem, the first hall in every competition from academic to social issues. The only mouthpiece of Ghanaian students.
Some call themselves royals. But my understanding is that, its only people who are in a kingdom with a present royal family who can call themselves royals. KATANGA happens to be the powerhouse of UST and for that matter, Katangese are the only true royals. Some paradoxically call themselves UNITY. Impudence of a dying housefly. They are more divided than anyone. The most united hall on campus with a common sense of purpose is indisputably KATANGA.
The black and yellow are two wonderful colours you can’t resist. When the bombardier resonates across the hall and shakes the very foundation of KNUST, the others panic, whiles the men respond to duty. That is the mark of a true fellow. Look at how they all beam with hope when they are in trouble and hear the voice of MEN of WAR chanting our home made war songs. Truly, the legend will never taste death
If you can’t beat us, capo, join us. We are the great fellows. To give the university an image when it was not recognized in Ghana, they had to name the hall UNIVERSITY HALL. For those of you who still doubt the strength of KATANGA, it is synonymous to you doubting the VENOM of a puff adder. THE LEGEND LIVES ON!
WAS HE A REAL HERO?
Was he a real hero? In mid life, he lived the life of an affluent and celebrated star. In the last hours of his life, it was a controversial story and the lifestyle of a pauper. Wacko Jacko did it all. He served his generation well and earned an enviably accolade as the undisputed entertainer of all time. His death rocked the entertainment world and the whole universe. It brought the world together as well. But the multi million cedi question is, did he die a real hero?
MJ as he was popularly known made it big in life but died with a whole lot of snail shells around his neck. Are there not some vital lessons to pick from the novel-like life of MJ?
At least he taught us that no one is too small or too young to do something big. Didn’t he become a world star at a very tender age? He also taught us that the colour of your skin should not be a limitation. He broke bounds and became the greatest entertainer at a time that racism was rife in America. Unfortunately, he didn’t learn this lesson himself. So sad enough.
Didn’t Michael Jackson also elaborate on that adage of climbing to the top? So hard to get there, but more than hard to remain there. He was once worth over 700million dollars in the early 80s. he however died somehow bankrupt. It just proves that we should be weary of how we trust our wealth. We can lose them in a split of a second.
Above all, Michael taught us to be content with how our maker created us. He tried to change his original a bit and what happened afterwards is history. To crown it all, despite all his flaws in life, Michael Jackson still earned the respect of all and still remains the greatest entertainer of all time. That I suppose should be the greatest lesson. Do not give excuses for your shortcomings. He truly explored and exploited his talent to the maximum even on his way to his graveside. Will we ever have an entertainer so influential as MJ? The big question however still remains. Was he a real hero?
MJ as he was popularly known made it big in life but died with a whole lot of snail shells around his neck. Are there not some vital lessons to pick from the novel-like life of MJ?
At least he taught us that no one is too small or too young to do something big. Didn’t he become a world star at a very tender age? He also taught us that the colour of your skin should not be a limitation. He broke bounds and became the greatest entertainer at a time that racism was rife in America. Unfortunately, he didn’t learn this lesson himself. So sad enough.
Didn’t Michael Jackson also elaborate on that adage of climbing to the top? So hard to get there, but more than hard to remain there. He was once worth over 700million dollars in the early 80s. he however died somehow bankrupt. It just proves that we should be weary of how we trust our wealth. We can lose them in a split of a second.
Above all, Michael taught us to be content with how our maker created us. He tried to change his original a bit and what happened afterwards is history. To crown it all, despite all his flaws in life, Michael Jackson still earned the respect of all and still remains the greatest entertainer of all time. That I suppose should be the greatest lesson. Do not give excuses for your shortcomings. He truly explored and exploited his talent to the maximum even on his way to his graveside. Will we ever have an entertainer so influential as MJ? The big question however still remains. Was he a real hero?
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